It takes courage to live through suffering; it takes honesty to observe it.

—C.S. Lewis

At the beginning of this year I posted this thinking 2020 would be a breakthrough year. A year that would catapult me into some hyper creative and productive trance that would allow me to accomplish everything I wish I had started years before. Things like, quitting my day job so that I could use the time to paint and write and eventually, maybe turn that into my job? Or having the mental space to work on my physical fitness so that I could lose the 50 pounds that constantly haunts my disappearing wardrobe. But, instead I saw those expectations crumble as the whole world was forced to navigate a new reality. A reality of faceless and distant strangers. A reality where we have watched death invade our loved ones. A reality where being a full-time teacher to our children is no longer an option, but a requirement. A reality where fear and hope walk side by side and yet somehow we are still supposed to find the strength and desire to keep up with the everyday. It’s been tiring, it’s been painful, and it’s been hard.

Like most people, I look forward to New Years. It has the allure of a blank page and the authority of permanent ink. It marks the end and the beginning. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what you have accomplished, what you could change, and what you would like to do next. This year that we so cautiously call 2020, has proven to be an enormous shift. Not only in how we approach each day, but a shift in our souls. What we once thought was truly important, urgent, and worthy of our hurried attention; now seems so, well, not as important anymore. This shift has brought out some of the most memorable and joyful times with my family that I will always be grateful for. Slowing down and learning how to reflect on those glittery and fleeting moments seems to be the new trend—one that I am more than willing to try.

This New Years, I would like to encourage you to put down those expectations you are writing for yourself and just take a moment to reflect on this past year—the good and the bad. Take inventory of your heart and use this time as an opportunity to reset your focus on something bigger than your waistline. It’s a new year; not a new you.

XoXo
-Bri